My school counselor is a gift from heaven. When everyone has gone home for the day, we will occasionally have time for lengthy chats in my quiet and cozy office or hers. She has the kind of innate sensitivity to how the world works that helps me put my tiny problems into perspective, allowing me to see patterns and solutions and giving me the peace of mind that collaborative reflection can bring.
I was talking with her one day about the idea that bullying behavior is a natural part of evolution and ubiquitous in our culture. Since my daughter is eight, I overhear her favorite shows and even with the current social and political climate condemning bullying behavior, I see examples of it in the story lines of children’s programming. (On a side note: principals in these shows are often portrayed as dim-witted enemies of children which is irritating, but that’s a post for another day.)
While all educators I know do not condone bullying behavior and do everything possible to get all students the help they need, it is troubling how individuals and groups are shunned overtly and otherwise for our entertainment and the impression that this leaves on our children. Any number of tv shows and movies model this for adults and kids. We view bullying as a problem exclusive to schools and neighborhoods, a problem experienced by young people that gets better as you get older, while not always recognizing the ways in which as adults we contribute to or are ourselves targets of bullying behavior.
Consider the social dynamics of the workplace. What I used to think was a phenomenon exclusive to the public school setting I have now realized is not our own. The informal culture of any organization can be racked by power hierarchies and complicated social connections that stifle both the work of the system as a whole and the individual growth of those working within it. When reflecting upon the disfunction within their own organization, people may often say, “Well, you’ll have some of that everywhere,” as if a pervasive problem results in no problem at all. I’ve believed for a long time that we can create something better because my school counselor did what she does best and made me think of things differently: it may be the case that it is natural for humans to develop hierarchical structures that can isolate and disempower others but we are called to do better.
In a Ted Talk I viewed recently, psychologist Dan Gilbert says, "Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished." If there is one place where we need to embrace this idea and become transparent about what it looks like in our interactions, it's our schools. What strategies can we employ as principals to surface relational issues between adults in our schools? Can we be transparent about these problems while still maintaining the dignity of those staff members who are not fully embraced and respected by their peers? How can a principal lead a staff in understanding that power structures are common within all organizations and, in our system, we will rise above? What are the consequences if we don't? The impact on all employees and on students is profound. Consider this research cited in the September 2011 edition of Educational Leadership and the potential that it could be generalized to schools where adult "bullies" are popular:
It's well worth asking whether today's schools are characterized by a democratic or autocratic social climate and whether differences in school climate are related to bullying. Classrooms with more egalitarian social status hierarchies, strong group norms in support of academic achievement and prosocial behavior, and positive social ties among children should deprive many socially connected bullies of the peer regard they require (Ahn, Garandeau, & Rodkin, 2010; Frey, Edstrom, & Hirschstein, 2010; Pellegrini et al., 2010; Rodkin & Gest, 2011). In contrast, even children who are not bullies themselves will form probullying attitudes in classrooms where bullies are popular (Dijkstra, Lindenberg, & Veenstra, 2008).Let's acknowledge that these structures are pervasive in organizations and a part of human nature, and then let us remember that we're still evolving and we can and must do better! Students, adults and our systems can thrive when we embrace an inclusive mindset and consciously eliminate structures that provide fertile ground for social hierarchies to grow.
Being human is hard. Just when I'm deep in thought about the last conversation I'd had with my counselor she hits me with a little gem of truth about criticism when she shares that criticizing is the simplest way for our brain to think about a problem or idea. Of course the timing of this was perfect as I was passively listening and actively, although silently, criticizing an idea. Shame on me. Thank goodness we are just works in progress along an evolutionary journey but these conversations are making me feel like a Neanderthal.
No more write. Me go sleep.